


Memories

by whimsicalwombat



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: Gen, Pretty much everyone besides Samar is in memory form
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-10 04:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whimsicalwombat/pseuds/whimsicalwombat
Summary: With bad memories so too, come the good ones... And what better way to reflect on them, than whilst flicking through the photo album of a life well lived?





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AuraSweet13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuraSweet13/gifts).



> I was trying to work in as many elements from the request as possible, even some of the ones I don't normally write, so here's to hoping it works! Happy fic exchange! :)

**March, present year**  

Samar glanced around her apartment, shaking out her pony tail and swiping a tiny piece of flying dust away from her face. Spring cleaning in preparation for Nowruz always kept her busy and tired, though somehow only ever in the best kind of way. It felt productive, and it only added to the excited anticipation in the lead up to one of her favourite holidays of the year. 

She furrowed her brow in thought, wondering which part of her to-do list to turn to next, until her bookshelf caught her eye. Samar tilted her head, smiling softly in contemplation; the bookshelf held not only books, but all kinds of other memories from over the years as well –everything from photo albums, the small handful of her mother's old journals that she had managed to find and keep after her parents had been killed, as well as a few other keepsakes collected ever since her childhood and all the way through her career until now.  

Tidying that shelf and going through it all seemed as good a task as any to move onto next.  

Samar ran her fingers softly along the row of book and album spines, stopping suddenly on a dark blue, leather bound spine with faded gold, spiral embossing. 

The photo album she had rescued from her childhood home alongside the journals... The very same album she had kept, treasured, and added occasional, important memories to ever since. 

Sure, she had plenty of albums with memories filed away within over the years, but that one right there was different. Only the best memories were preserved within those faded pages that her father had bought from the market near their home barely a week after she was born, to celebrate that very moment.  

Samar pulled the album from the shelf, flicking slowly through the pages, deep in thought. 

Within the first few pages, there was a photo of her parents. Just the two of them, looking in both parts exhausted and thrilled in their living room, with a tiny bundle of blankets cradled lovingly in both their arms while they stared at each other in joy. The photo itself was taken at a slightly odd, wonky angle, low to the ground. 

Samar smiled softly at the sight of it. She remembered that moment, only just and with the typical fuzziness of such early memories, but she remembered it all the same. 

She took that photo –albeit with some help- the day Shahin had been born. 

/*/*/*/* 

 **1982**  

 _'Mamaaaan,' Samar squealed, scampering in delight across the living room towards her newly emerging parents. Her uncle let her run, watching on with amused affection as his brother caught his two and a half year old daughter's running leap and lifted her, swinging her around for a moment before pulling her in for an adoring cuddle._    
_'Look, Samar,' her father murmured, gesturing at the tiny bundle of blankets held closely in the arms of his wife right beside him, 'do you know who this is?' He glanced across to his wife, shooting her an adoring smile before dotting a quick kiss to her cheek over their young daughter's head. He glanced down again, smiling even more so at the wide, curious eyes of his daughter in his arms as she slowly shook her head no. 'This is your baby brother, Shahin,' he explained softly. Those wide, curious eyes turned their gaze to the blanket bundle, taking in the tiny, chubby cheeks, tightly clenched sleeping eyes, and the tufts of dark hair, all peeking out from the layers. Samar's face lit up in toddler amazement, and her tiny fingers reached out in a flash, desperately wanting to reach out, to touch that snoozing newborn face._    
_'Oh,' her mother chuckled, 'be gentle, Samar.' Little Samar's fingers pulled back with a touch of nervousness, and she glanced back at forth and both her parents faces for reassurance. One by one, they nodded, giving her encouraging smiles, and the little girl reached out again, slower and gentler this time... Until those tiny fingers came to rest softly against those equally tiny cheeks. At her tender age, seeing someone even younger and tinier was a thing of pure wonder, and she rested her head against her father's shoulder, staring on at her new, little brother._    
_'I think it's time for a photo,' her uncle's voice emerged softly from behind her, though Samar took little notice. She was all too mesmerised by that bundle of blankets that all the adults around her were talking about with words she didn't always understand. 'Are you ready?' The voice asked her parents, and Samar felt the movement of her father nodding eagerly. 'Samar,' the voice spoke again, softer this time, finally drawing her attention. She pulled her gaze from her brother, staring back curiously at her uncle's warm smile and the gadget in his hand that she only partly understood. 'Do you want to help me?' He asked. Samar wasn't sure what that meant, but she nodded all the same. She loved to see and join in with everything that the adults around her did. Well, as best she could, anyway. She found herself moving back towards the ground as her father lowered her slowly and set her back on her feet, and she scampered back across the room to her uncle, standing beside him as he crouched down to her level._  

 _He held out the gadget with one hand, allowing her to wrap her tiny ones around his, all the while he tried to explain to her how to take a picture._  

 _She didn't understand all the instructions, but she stubbornly tried to follow them anyway, still staring in utter fascination at her baby brother through the camera's viewing lens._  

/*/*/*/* 

 **Present**   

That memory flashed through Samar's mind as she continued flicking through the pages, stopping only as she came to another picture she loved. 

Herself and Shahin, when she was around ten years old, and Shahin eight. They were wrapped around each other in a hug, covered from head to toe in dirt, mud, and grass, and with their eyes crinkled with mischief and laughter at the view past the camera. 

Her parents had been gardening together, as they so often loved to do, all the while she and Shahin had been running around the garden with them. They had been alternating between chasing games, kicking around Shahin's old soccer ball, and trying –and failing- to help their parents. In the case of the latter, they had tried to carry a bucket of fresh soil towards their mother for the patch of garden she was working on, only to drop it all over the grass. From there, Shahin had tripped over the bucket, and Samar over Shahin, until they were collapsed in that muddy, grassy pile on top of each other on the ground. Samar had gasped in surprise at first at the sudden landing, but Shahin in his usual state of mischief making had broken into giggles, rolling in the mud in the attempt to wriggle his way out from under her... Only resulting in both of them being covered in mud all the more so. Finally, they had found their feet again, with Samar too, breaking into giggles of her own as she glanced down at her mud covered limbs and then up again at the looks of utter, amused exasperation on their parents' faces.  

/*/*/*/* 

 **1990**  

 _'Baba, look,' Shahin giggled with glee, 'Samar has grass in her hair.'_    
_'You have mud in your hair, too,' she laughed back._    
_'I don't know how you two keep ending up in situations like this,' their father muttered under his breath, more for his wife's ears than anyone else's. Their mother tried desperately to keep a straight face, but failed, breaking into chuckles of her own as she watched her two children start chasing each other madly around the garden again in the attempt to either pull the grass from each other's hair, or add more, or perhaps even both... She wasn't entirely sure._    
_'Honey,' she chuckled to her husband, 'I think we're going to need to hose them down before we let them back inside.' He nodded back in amused agreement, before quickly ducking inside, and back out again moments later, camera grasped eagerly in hand._    
_'But first,' he grinned, 'I think we need a picture.' He took a few pictures first of his children running around in glee, before Shahin spotted what he was up to. A second later, and the little boy tugged on his sister's elbow, drawing her attention to the camera too. With a mischievous grin, Samar wrapped her arms around her brother, wrestling him still and making him cackle with laughter, both of them struggling not to point of the flecks of soil that had even flown their way into their father's hair during the chaos..._  

/*/*/*/* 

 **Present**   

The pages continued turning, moving on from the images of her childhood that her parents had compiled, on towards those that she herself had added later... Photo after photo from her and Shahin's teenage years, his joining the army and her eventual move to Mossad, passed before her eyes, mapping out all the years that had passed.  

Yet another caught her eye; far more recent than those from her childhood, but still years earlier from the present. 

Herself and Levi, on a rare night out, celebrating the successful completion of another Mossad assignment with their team, in the days that they were still very much together. She was looking at the camera or rather, the teammate behind it –Ezra, if she remembered correctly... But Levi wasn't. His gaze was fixed entirely on her, eyes crinkled with affection, almost as if he was poised to kiss her and the camera had captured them barely a nanosecond before he did so.  

Samar remembered that case well. It had been successful, but only just. They had narrowly avoided an explosion that would have easily killed Levi and wounded at least two more of their team had they been even inches closer. Samar had been overwrought with emotion as the noise and dust had subsided and she had seen him rolling in the dust, thankfully very much alive. Their case was closed but so too, had their lives nearly been so. She had run towards him, helping him up off the ground, only for him to throw his arms around her, burying his face in her hair, and letting out a breathless sob. The gasps of relief and disbelief at having survived had swirled in their guts, along with twisted combination of joy and fear. 

Those swirling emotions had haunted them for the rest of the day, until their teammates had finally managed to convince them to go out to a small, low key place for a meal and drinks, and to both distract them and try to let off some steam while their minds continued processing the near miss in the background. 

Those same, difficult, swirling emotions returned to Samar's gut now as she stared at the picture, torn between wistfully missing those days, miserable wondering what would have been if the day had gone differently, and the continued relief that it hadn't. It didn't matter that she and Levi were no longer together, she would always love him dearly.  

/*/*/*/* 

 **2009**  

 _'Do you ever think we should take a vacation somewhere?' Samar had asked Levi, once they were home again for the evening. It was just the two of them now, with her hair down, and both of them changed into more comfortable clothes, ready to go to bed after their long day._    
_'Sometimes,' Levi murmured back, shooting her a soft, contemplative smile, 'why?'_    
_'Every day we put our lives on the line for this job,' Samar began, 'and what we do will never not be important to me, but... On days like this I wonder if we need the occasional time off.'_    
_'To make the most of the time we have together in case another case doesn't end as well?' He finished the train of thought for her. He sank wearily onto the bed beside her where she sat up, leaning back against the propped up pillow, and he pressed a slow kiss to her forehead. 'Sometimes, that idea crosses my mind, too,' he murmured. Samar wound her arms across his shoulders and behind his neck, linking her fingers and holding him close to her; in the last case that nearly hadn't gone well, she had been the one who had the significant near miss._    
_'Where would you want to go?' She asked quietly. Her voice was low, the tone almost seductive. She leaned back further, laying back on the bed as Levi allowed her to pull him back with her gladly, laying beside her and leaning ever so slightly over so that he could stroke her cheek._    
_'Somewhere quiet,' he whispered back, 'somewhere peaceful, beautiful... Where it's just the two of us.' He kissed her slowly, lingering close there even afterwards, just to gaze back at her._    
_'And what are we going to do, in somewhere so quiet?' Samar asked, breaking into a musing smile._    
_'Oh, I have a few ideas,' Levi grinned, 'go for a walk, look at the scenery... Kiss a beautiful woman... That sounds to me like a good way to enjoy being alive.'_  

/*/*/*/* 

 **Present**  

Samar couldn't help but miss those days as she reflected back on them, but she continued flicking through the album's pages, nonetheless.  

The last few photos in the album were the most recent and she paused, gazing at the very last one. 

There she was, with the rest of her current team; Liz, Ressler, Aram, and Cooper, on New Year's eve at Aram's place just a couple of months earlier. They were off the clock, simply enjoying each other's company and celebrating the turn of the year, without the stress of an open case. Shirts were untucked, no ties hung around necks, and hair was let out. All of them looked so happy, comfortable, and at ease in each other's company.   

Samar smiled, easily remembering that night.  

She'd had her difficulties with each of them in her time on the taskforce, but she adored and respected them all still, anyway. No road was ever without its bumps, but they had all navigated the twists and turns of them eventually. With Liz she had been up and down, hurt by Liz's faked death, but ultimately glad more than anything to have her friend and only female colleague back once the shock and subsided and the frustrated faded. Aram, she sometimes found frustrating when his own moral compass kept him from doing things that her own had no qualms with or vice versa... But at the same time, those differences each complemented the team in their own individual way. And as for Ressler... That night with him had been unexpected, and followed by obstacles, but the air between them was clear now. Whether or not that night had been the right thing to do, was something that changed in her mind regularly; some days she thought it would never happen again, and other days she wondered if perhaps it should. Ultimately though, it was a memory that she didn't regret, regardless of whether it was right or wrong. It had happened, and they had made their peace with it.  

Perhaps it would happen again one day, or perhaps it wouldn't. 

Perhaps she would see Levi again one day, and something would have changed... Or perhaps she wouldn't. 

The next case could be the one to finally bring her wondering to an end, or she could have a hundred more to solve.  

Each day came with new adventures, with both angst and joy. Many were obstacles; her parents had been killed, her brother had committed heartbreaking crimes, she had left Levi, fought within her current team, and nearly died during the course of her career countless times. 

And yet, there she still stood, staring at each and every photo in that album in her hands, remembering the good that inevitably came and reminded her that all was not over. Every person in that album was family in some way or another, from her parents in the first photo, to her current team in the last. She had countless people she loved, and countless memories of each one that she treasured.  

And with each day forwards, she would make more.


End file.
